Rant: I’m Going To Kick Your Face

This is a rant. That is your warning.

I don’t consider myself a whiner.

As a child, my dad was very adamant about my sister & I not being whiners, & more importantly, that we not grow up to be whiners. We were expected to be tough. My dad was very tough; in fact, I witnessed first hand my dad splitting fire wood & having a piece of wood go straight through the palm of his hand. He stood there staring at my sister & I, with this piece of wood hanging through his hand & simply said, “Get your stuff together, we need to go to the hospital.” Well, he probably blurted out a few profanities prior to that phrase, but you get the gist of it.

My dad set the bar pretty high when it came to being tough. Further, as I got older, I realized one of the best ways to impress my dad was to be tough….or at least fake it.

As an adult I naturally embodied this trait, as did my sister, & one of the ways this trait was expressed was through a very high threshold for physical pain & discomfort.

However, what has come to be quite annoying, yet totally my fault, is that I manage my pain without much discussion or complaint because to do so solves nothing. What is annoying is that people tend to assume that because I’m not laying at home crying into a hankie & making Facebook posts about how much pain I’m in, that it must not be that bad or severe or detrimental to my life.

Once I announced the severity of my injury & that it was forcing me to step back from competitive MMA, the comments started flooding in. People trying to be helpful. Trust me, I understand the motive. But it’s getting old.

I have a serious injury to my hip. It may require surgery to fix. Surgery will cause premature arthritis because they have to cut through the capsule of my hip to reach the labrum, which may or may not be torn. I will not know until I get in to see a specialist, & I have no idea when that will be.

So this brings me to the rant:

Here’s some education: my hip, much like your hip, is connected to my back & my leg. So when you try to give me advice about “great exercises” I could do that won’t hurt my hip DO NOT TELL ME TO FUCKING SQUAT.

Unless you have figured out some new-fangled, bio-mechanically advanced way to squat, which DOES NOT involve your hip, I CANNOT  SQUAT!

Do not try to make me feel better about not being able to wrestle by telling me that I could go for a run. UNLESS you have figured out how to run without using your hip. If you have, then you should get in touch with the person who invented the no-hip-squat because you guys have a revolutionary training plan taking shape.

If it requires your leg, then it causes me pain. You know what that includes? Let me explain this:

When I stand on one leg to put my pants on – that hurts.

When I push the clutch of my car in – that hurts.

When I sit – that hurts.

When I stand – that hurts too.

When I walk – that hurts.

It will also hurt when I kick you in the face for making RIDICULOUS suggestions to me.

If you know me, you should know that I am quite educated in the realm of health & fitness & that I have employed the help of people with the abbreviations “Dr.” in front of their name to assist me in working with this injury, so I do not require unsolicited advice on this issue.

And while I appreciate that people feel the need to offer their idea of “help” because they feel bad for me, I beg you to reconsider spouting any of this crap because it is insulting & because I didn’t step away from something I’ve poured every ounce of myself into because I have a little bit of pain.

I pushed myself to the point of experiencing a debilitating, spirit crushing pain that was present ALL of the time. It kept me awake, it was there all day & all night. There was not one single motion I could do without experiencing the pain.

And I know that no one could POSSIBLY know this, because I am not a whiner & because I kept doing stuff long after I should have been, but I walked away from MMA because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to walk anywhere.

And if that makes you sad, then I get it, but don’t try to make yourself feel better by making ridiculous suggestions to me. It probably means you’re one of those people who can’t just “listen” when someone is going through stuff. You are a “fixer” & it is annoying. So stop it. Don’t be uncomfortable with other people’s turmoil. So this is also a public service – people don’t need you to fix their problems & if they do, they will give you a HUGE CLUE. Want to know what it is? They will say, “What should I do?”

I know. This is mind-blowing psycho-emotional insight here. I might be changing your life.

This isn’t for those of you who have had legitimate conversations with me about this topic. For those who have listened respectfully & intently to self-pity or angst, I am very grateful. But for all of ‘you’ who don’t know what to say but yet feel the need to say something, or who have over-heard me having a legit conversation with someone, & who feel the need to add their input: all you need to say to me, if you must say something, is this: “That really fucking sucks.” And I will smile & say, “Yes it does. But I’m okay.”

And then I will go & do my ridiculous rehab exercises that are NOT squats or running or jumping.


Posted on December 18, 2013, in Rants and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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